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Oh and new photos are up. Under choir. Photos of Christmas @ Orchard :)) I'll probably blog about it soon. I'm too overwhelmed right now. One thing I can say is, though it was tiring, it was rewarding. And it's great to be able to lift up His name on HIGH! And the best part of the whole programe was the Worship after that. It was so nice to see people worshipping Him in the middle of Orchard Road. Really. We sang "King Of Majesty", "One Way", "Shout To The Lord" and I can't remember what else. So nice! Ahaha. I told you I'm too overwhelmed to say anything. Lol Have FUN!! And don't forget that Christ is the REASON for the season :))
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] December 31, 2004
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!
Yeah, I know this is pretty early. But I'm gonna be out later. So yeah. Babyboy left this morning. Yup. I'm so not looking forward to tonight. Really. I hate new year's eve. Maybe because last new year's eve was too perfect and I know tonight's just gonna be crap -sighs- I really feel like crying now. All I know is that after a great cry and a horrible new year's eve tonight, tomorrow will be 2005! And I'm gonna have a great 2005. So just let me cry and mess up my life tonight. Everything will be fine tomorrow because my Daddy loves me
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December 29, 2004
In the wake of the massive earthquake and tsunami that hit much of Southern Asia and East Africa, we have received numerous offers to help from staff and students. Ngee Ann has decided to approach this as a collective effort to better channel our energies to help victims of the devastation
Several groups of students and an alumnus will be spearheading Ngee Ann's disaster relief effort.
This relief effort will consist of two parts:
1. Donations in kind (30 and 31 December 2004)
We are appealing for donations in-kind only for the following items by Noon on 31 Dec.
(please note that no cash donations will be collected during this drive):
Water purification tablets Bandages and plasters (eg. Handyplast and Band-aids) Paracetamol (eg Panadol) Muesli/Granola Bars Rice Instant Noodles Canned Food Tents Blankets Ground Sheets
Medical items stated in red and bold above are of greater immediate demand.
The details for the collection are as follows:
Dates: 30 and 31 December 2004
Time: 10am - 5pm (30/12/04)
9am - Noon (31/12/04)
Collection Point: The Atrium"
*People in NP, if anyone's reading this. Please help (: Those who aren't in NP and wanna help but don't know where to bring stuff to and what not, you guys can contact me (:
I'm still reeling from the news. I'm still horrified. 67,739 : the death toll. Been hooked on CNN since sunday. I've never seen my living room tuned to CNN the moment someone's at home. Really. Not since 9/11. But this time, it's scarier cause it hits so close to home. Was talking to Bryan just awhile ago. I've been complaining too much. It's time to count my blessings. No wait, I can't count my blessings. It's so abundant. I should be enjoying my blessings and be a blessing to others. I can't imagine what would have happened if it hit Singapore. I mean we're living on a pathetically TINY island. We'd probably have been engulfed in like 10 minutes. Graves wouldn't even hafta be dug for us. Sorry for sounding so negative here. I'm just being Cheryl for a bit. But even after all the negativity, I THANK GOD!! I really thank God for keeping us safe. Psalm 91! I've totally claimed the protection of Psalm 91 in my life, my family and all those around me.
Okay, I think I'm gonna take a bit of a rest now. I'm feeling vey faint now. Maybe it's cause I haven't eaten the whole day and I donated blood :\ All I ate before that was Junz's oreos. Lols. And my hand's aching. Or maybe it's just psychological. Been feeling very melancholic lately. I don't know
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December 28, 2004
Talked to my lst today and we shared alot. I guess we've all grown alot spiritually. I'm so glad. Then while on the way home, I was just thinking ALOT as usual. About the three requests that pastor asked us to make. I was thinking that it was really impossible. Then I heard a small voice saying, "Don't underestimate Me, you can never overestimate Me" Anyways, my point is that you can never overestimate God. Just continue to believe and TRUST Him!
Jesus, 'You light up my life. You give me hope to carry on. You light up my days and fill my nights with song' :)) Thank You, Jesus for ALL that You've done! Give me, Lord, a fresh revelation of Your love. And cover Your people with Your hand of protection :)) Humble me before Your feet. Cast out any pride that's within me. Use me (though there's probably nothing to use) to glorify Your name. Amen
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December 27, 2004
Watched Phantom today. Not too bad but I prefer the musical. Yang was falling asleep! Lols. So tired right now but I'm waiting for my hair to dry :\ Waking up real early tomorrow!! Still don't know what we're doing on fri. Meeting my life support team (lst) on thurs! :))
I'm currently hooked on "Liu Sha" by David Tao :'( Yeah, the soundtracking's still going on. And it's not nice to hear songs that make you cry. Okay, I'm gonna shut up now. I'm so tired, I have no clue what I'm saying
Oh yeah, before I forget. I wanted to blog about this. I'm sure everyone has heard about the tsunami hitting many parts in asia. And I just wanna thank God for His blessings on singapore. That we're kept safe here. Pray for those who're missing too. Just remember that to see what God is doing in your life, see what the devil is doing. And the devil is trying to destroy asia. Guess what, good news for asia, God is building asia up!! Keep praying! 2005 is gonna be a GREAT year. If not, you can kick Dunstan :P Lols. Kidding bro! I'm sure it'll will be a good year cause God is FOR us, and not against us! I mean, He gave His Son for us. How can He be against us??
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December 26, 2004
I realize it isn't gonna be easy. And I sometimes wonder if memories really do matter? I mean, when you truly love someone (or so you think you do), do memories really matter? I seriously don't know how to put this in words. But I need to get this out. I mean, I know I don't need *him. I don't need a relationship right now. And I truly believe that Jesus loves me and I feel it. But sometimes the memories just upset me. I reflect on the relationship and all the what ifs start running about :\ Just like today. Sometimes I wonder if all the "I'm over *him"s are just me living in denial. Bah, I'm really tired. I need to sleep
And I suppose the greatest gift this christmas would be a greater revelation of His love for me. I really need it man. Though I go on about how all I want for christmas is *him, I commit it to Daddy. I'm tired and drained
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December 24, 2004
You're the kind of friend Who always bends when I'm brokenLike remember whenYou took my heart and put it back together againI've been wasting time with clueless guys but now it's overLet me tell You why I'm throughI've got someone new who's just like You!(Ultimate - Lindsay Lohan)
Yes, I've got my Jesus :)) No more wasting time with clueless guys. It's over. It's over. It's over!! Jesus is my Savior, my Redeemer, my King, my Knight in Shining armour (and man, He SHINES!!), my BEST FRIEND and the best part is, I'm His bride :)) I'm happy. Btw, isn't it amazing how even a secular song speaks so much to you? Praise God
The year's coming to an end. So's all my unhappiness. My broken heart WILL be mended. No, my broken heart is HEALED in Jesus' name :)) 2005 is gonna be an awesome year! I can't wait. My breakthrough's coming and I'm expecting a year full of ABUNDANT favor in every area of my life! M E R R Y C H R I S T M A S!
Blessed holidays!!
I've been waiting all my life for someone just like YouBut You're itYou're the Ultimate You*isn't it so comforting and nice to know that He is everything, He's the Ultimate
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December 21, 2004
Picked him up last night with Ker, Dan, Kel, Bry and his parents. Went over to his place and chilled. Got home at 5 plus. Showered, headed to school and now I'm having a major headache. I haven't slept a wink since I woke up yesterday :\ I need sleep. Oh before I go, ignore the silly outburst in yesterday's post. Like Noven said, I should be glad that *he replied. Haha. But Noven darling, I went crazy BEFORE *he replied what. Okay, I need sleep. I will go now
i thank God for my friends. but sometimes, i just wish He'd make a way for me to *you
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December 20, 2004
Breakfast at HV. Met Ker. School. Skipped stats tutorial. Lunch with Junz, Terence, Mikael, Yingliang, Grace and Huimin. Cheena doctor with Mikael. Videod him. Towned. National Treasure. Awesome! Walked around. Got a hat. Home. Blogging. Going out
Babyboy's coming back. One week. Christmas with his family. Leaving for airport now.
Jing, yeah we'll talk soon. Stuff to share. I've experienced favor! Amen:)) Praise God for the glory! Jas said so too. I believe that the calling is really there. I don't know how to explain it. But it's just so comfortable there. Though I'm new and all, I don't feel all that new. It's really such a joy to be able to serve and worship Him :)) Hmms, about the cg thing, I'm not really worrying about it now. I'm just trusting God. Talked to Han a lil yesterday and well, I'm just resting. Just expecting God's supernatural favor on the cg in the coming year. Yeah, not expecting much from anyone now. Just expecting a whole lot from God and I know I will NEVER be disappointed cause the precious blood has already been shed. I'm coming boldly to the throne! I will fight for my rightful inheritance. By the blood of Jesus, I'm RIGHTEOUS and I'm Daddy's beloved little girl. No other power can change that. And remember who you are in Christ! Daddy has a heart FOR you! Take care :)
-No. A person doesn't just wake up and stop loving somebody-
(no way. i've been waking up many times and i still can't stop loving that someone. Lord, help me)
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December 19, 2004
11 For with stammering lips and another tongue
He will speak to this people,
12 To whom He said, "This is the rest with which
You may cause the weary to rest,"
And, "This is the refreshing";
Prayed in tongues and indeed I was refreshed. There was no hint or weariness within me. And I felt completely at peace. I even got healed during holy communion for 2nd. My heel was hurting cause I was jumping in heels and the shoe didn't have much support. Stupid shoulder acted up again. But as I confessed that I'm healed by His stripes, the pain was gone INSTANTANEOUSLY!! Praise God! Really, God is faithful. Don't stop believing and expecting from Him. And expect MORE! He will bless you with the measure of your expectation. So expect your full inheritance. There's no "lower your expectations" with God. Ephesians 3 : 20 says "Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us". Now see this -->
Great huh? Not only does He do exceedingly abundantly, He does it ABOVE all that we can ask or think. And from what I see, we really don't ask Him enough. We don't even think He can do enough. Sad but true. Pastor challenged us to come BOLDLY before the throne and receieve our inheritance. I'm putting this challenge out to you guys too!! Come claim your inheritance. He will never ask you to "lower your expectations"!!
One more thing. While pastor was preaching, I heard God say this to me. Just thought I'd share it. Pastor said that you can change God's mind about something just because He has a heart for you. God loves to be trusted and persuaded. Then Daddy said this to me. Like how I'd always try to persuade my dad to get me something, Daddy said that He is my Father. My Heavenly Father, and if my earthly father loves to be persuaded, what more Him. Daddy said to come to Him with the consciousness of the righteousness that I am in Christ! And that He wants to pamper me. What a sweet Daddy?!! I love Him so much!! And I don't care if my dad doesn't love me, I don't care if nobody loves me. Cause I have a sweet and loving Father in Heaven!! And expect your cup to runneth over :)) Though things aren't going the way I want them to, things are rocky, I believe and I EXPECT my breakthrough to come :))
Anyways, Ocean's 12 after service with Jas. Oh and I bought the blue hairspray thing. Gonna try out tomorrow. If it looks good, I'm gonna dye my hair blue :)) Btw, if you're free on the 22nd and 23rd of Dec, come down to the field beside Orchard MRT, New Creation will be having our Christmas Concert there. It's gonna be awesome. I believe the glory of God will shine so so strongly. Remember, Christ is truly the reason for this season :))
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December 17, 2004
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December 16, 2004
I'm so tired now. And I gotta go to school tomorrow :'( The worse thing is I can't sleep yet cause I promised someone I'd call him -faints- I need sleep. Unless, I skip school tomorrow and go get an MC :\ I'm really tempted. I don't feel like doing anything. Damn tired. Think I'm gonna go off and call him now.
Now life's like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're going to get
Stupid is as stupid does and the rest of that shit
Come on pretty baby call my bluff
Cause for you my best was never good enough
--themix : an jing - jay chou
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Side note, I was sms-ing someone whom I haven't talked to in ages. It felt great! I missed him alot. My close friends would know ALL about him but yeah. I haven't spoken to him in ages. It put a strange smile on my face. Bittersweet memories I guess. One thing's for sure, I was happier when I was "in love" with him last year :\ Well, compared to being in love with *him right now, I was way happier. Now I think closer friends would know who :P One more hint : ex acsi, jerk!
I can't understand,
She let go of my hand
And left me here facing the wall.
I'd sure like to know
Why she did go,
But I can't get close to her him at all.
Though we kissed through the wild blazing nighttime,
She said she would never forget.
But now mornin's clear,
It's like I ain't here,
She just acts like we never have met.
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December 15, 2004
DANCE WITH GOD
When I meditated on the word GUIDANCE, I kept seeing "dance" at the end of the word.
I remember reading that doing God's will is a lot like dancing. When two people try to lead, nothing feels right. The movement doesn't flow with the music, and everything is quite uncomfortable and jerky.
When one person realizes that, and lets the other lead, both bodies begin to flow with the music. One gives gentle cues, perhaps with a nudge to the back or by pressing lightly in one direction or another. It's as if two become one body moving beautifully. The dance takes surrender, willingness, and attentiveness from one person and gentle guidance and skill from the other.
My eyes drew back to the word GUIDANCE. When I saw "G," I thought of God, followed by "u" and "i." "God, "u" and "i" dance." God, you and I dance. As I lowered my head, I became willing to trust that I would get guidance about my life. Once again, I became willing to let God lead.
Truly, it takes alot of surrender and in my opinion quite a bit of humility. Are you willing to humble yourself and let Him lead you? I know it takes alot. Or maybe it's just me, it takes a whole lot to just tell Him, "Lord, have Your will in me" I always want my way. I want the dance to go my way. But somehow, I don't know the way. I don't know which way I want it to go. So there comes a time, after all the frustrations, the jerky movements, you just surrender to Him and ask Him to lead. And His guidance is skillful, patient and always right. No more bumping into each other. No more awkward jerks. What I'm saying is trust and let go. So easy to say but so hard to do
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December 14, 2004
Suddenly I know I'm not sleeping
Hello I'm still here, all that's left of yesterday
--themix : hungry heart - bruce springsteen
[edit] I forgot to mention this. Ker reckons the burn I got on the side of my neck looks like a hickey attempt gone wrong. Apparently she thought someone tried to pull a Count Dracula. May I know who my dear Ker? I'm single :\ I can't believe she said it looks like a hickey when it obviously looks like a burn mark -faints-
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December 13, 2004
-i'm sick and tired, of always feeling sick and tired-
it's like my whole life never happened
when i see you, it's as if i never had a thought
i know this dream, it might be crazy
but it's the only one i've got
--themix : if i could - state of shock *(they have great lyrics for the emos)
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December 12, 2004
Things aren't exactly going smooth right now. And the past few days, I felt I was fading fast. Fading into the shadow that I was. And I was kinda worried this morning that I wouldn't feel His presence. But somewhere during praise and worship, I felt Him tell me that He loved me. And even during service, while pastor was preaching, He reassured me again that I was His little girl. And really, it means the whole world to me. Cause I'm just that weird kinda person who needs to be constantly showered with words. Even if your actions don't show it, just shower me with words and I'll be happy. Yes, I'm a manic. Sometimes I wonder why I haven't been admitted to an institute, but I believe its God's grace! Anyways, my point is that I just wanna tell everyone who's like feeling down that if you have Jesus, you won't feel depressed for long. Your turnaround is coming soon!! And you're PERFECT in His eyes cause He perfected you with His precious blood! I'm really NO MORE ashamed of the gospel no more. I used to be afraid of talking about it. Scared that people would judge me and whathaveyou. But my identity's in Christ and I'm thankful it is :)) So really, don't lose hope. He is always there to give you strength and He will bring Light to your darkness!
Haha now my mind's like in this whole depressed state but I'm feeling God's love! Can I be anymore schizo? Like honestly. My mind's a whirl. But I feel so blessed and so at peace. :\ I'm being brutally honest
++
*xue: My dear, we were supposed to :'( I miss you la. When can you make it busy woman?? *loves
mel: Uhm I wasn't the one who said it. How am I supposed to know? Ask Benji la. His dear said it not mine. Lols
Jingyi: Hey girl. Amen :)) I'm really thankful for the growth. So thankful for His grace and His GREAT love!! It's really amazing how He touches your heart and makes you yearn for Him. The feeling is really indescribable you know. Lols. Honestly, I'm still unsure about the whole potential and cg thing. Somehow I don't feel enough for the cg. I really don't know. Part of me wants to do it yet there's this other part saying no!! And praying about it isn't like bringing me anywhere. I don't know. I don't think I have the heart for this cg. I mean I'm being very very honest with you here, I dragged myself to the previous cg meeting cause I kinda told you I would go. That's all. I mean it isn't about the fun part. It's like I see other cgs sharing so much and bonding spiritually and our cg's like one big mess. Ah I don't know la. I expected alot for the cg or maybe from the cg. I don't know but I know I expected a whole lot and I was disappointed. I don't know if I can ever expect again. Get what I mean? And yes, I believe that God brought us closer for a reason! And only He knows. But since He ordained this friendship, let's just trust Him to keep it together. Don't labour to keep it strong. For He will strengthen it and when He strengthens it, nothing and no one can tear it apart amen? Look to Him and not to me or our friendship :)) Take care girl. And yes, we'll hang out soon!! :))
Bry, cause you people mix the most disgusting things ever. McFlurry with ketchup, chilli, pepper, oyster sauce (!?!), and I can't remember what else. Hey!! 3 spoonfuls was horrible please! Anyways, the vid was crap la. One could only hear me. Lols
Ker sweetums, it wasn't that bad really! Compared to what you guys made me drink, it wasn't bad! Lols. Bah, I kinda miss hanging out. We gotta do that soon aiights? Loving you my sweetums. And don't worry too much about Dan yeah? I mean they're only two ways out so it's pretty much up to you. Just don't end up like me!
--themix : tomorrow is a long time - bob dylan
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December 11, 2004
Anyways, we watched Blade Trinity! What's with me and rewatching movies on weekends?? -faints- Dinner at Coca after that and now I'm back home. I'm so shagged I can't even be bothered to search for hosting. Besides I gotta wake up real early tomorrow for first!! And I realized I haven't gone for first in ages. Used to go for first every week. So I'mma go sleep now and be in a position of receiving tomorrow :)) I'm tired. I can't blog anymore. Replies tomorrow or something. Nights
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爱情走的太快就像龙卷风 不能承受我已无处可躲 我不要再想我 不要再想 我不 我不 我不要再想你 -(龙卷风)
我懂我也知道 你没有舍不得
你说你也会难过我不相信
牵着你陪着我 也只是曾经
你要我说多难堪 我根本不想分开
为什么还要我用微笑来带过
你已经远远离开 我也会慢慢走开
为什么我连分开都迁就着你
我真的没有天份 安静的没这么快
我会学着放弃你 是因为我太爱你
-(安静)
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December 10, 2004
BLESS is defined to be: to prosper, to make happy and to bestow blessings on,
to set apart or consecrate for holy purposes, to make
and pronounce holy, to make happy, to make successful,
to make prosperous in temporal concerns or
pertaining to this life, to keep, to guard, to preserve.
Psalm37:3-11 (Amp)
Trust (lean on, rely on and be confident) in the Lord and do good; so shall you dwell in the land and feed surely on His faithfulness, and truly you shall be fed.
Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires and secret petitions of your heart.
Commit your way to the Lord- roll and repose (each care of) your load on Him; trust (lean on, rely on and be confident) also in Him,. and He will bring it to pass.
And He will make your uprightness and right standing with God go forth as the light and your justice and right as the shining sun of the noonday.
Be still and rest in the Lord; wait for Him, and patiently stay yourself upon Him; fret not yourself..............for those who wait and hope and look for the Lord shall inherit the earth.....................and shall delight themselves in the abundance of peace.
I don't know about you guys. But I like the amplified alot. It's just so amplified. Ha. I don't know how to describe it but I like it alot :)) Gonna go out in abit. Meeting Jingyi for dinner before cg. Honestly, I don't feel like going for cg. But I promised Jingyi so yeah. Dragging myself down to school -sighs- I have to warm up to my cg!!!
-
Jas, thanks babe! You are greatly blessed, highly favored and DEEPLY LOVED by Him! You are triumphant, standing on victory ground, so just keep resting in the finished work babe!! Love ya -hugs-
Bry!! I told you to go you stupid monkey!! -kicks- At least if you went, we could've hung out. Arh!! You monkey!! And start talking to Him la. It's a relationship my dear. He is always with you though you feel distant. Just take that first step, open your mouth!! Really. It's not as easy as it sounds but really, it's worth it dear. Catch ya soon ok? Chill
Ker my sweetums!! You too are greatly blessed because you are in Him ok. Don't you dare forget that. Or I'll knock those brains out. Lols. Kidding hon!! Soon soon. We shall go shopping. This mon or something aiights?? Love plenty!!
Val, yeah camp was awesome and I so can't wait to meet up man!! Is everything confirmed?? Can't wait. It's been ages since we met up!! Miss you tons!! *loves -kisses-
babyboy, I miss you!! I think I'mma call you soon. And stop calling my cell at unearthly hours :\ I promise you, the next time you wake me up at unearthly hours like last night, I'll make you listen to chinese songs for 3 hours!! Lols. I don't want christmas to come! I love it and all but..... I don't want it!! Lols. I'm whining. Come back fast please?? I want my stuff :P okay and you too. Happy?? Haha
Benji. Hello my male bitch!! I don't know what to reply you. Cause I replied you in your blog. Lols. Take care dude!! Have fun at work today. And I hope there are no more stalkers. Lols
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-and it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time- It's amazingly true for me right now at this point of time. I want nothing at all but to enjoy His love. But there's something inside me tugging at my heart. I don't know! I don't know! I don't know! And honestly, I don't really wanna know!! I think I'm gonna have a good sleep now and wake up feeling better. I trust that God will give me peaceful sleep!!
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December 08, 2004
Anyways, choir rehearsal was great today! I've got a bad throat and am really physically drained and sick now. My gastric's acted up, throats dry as sahara, nose's like MJ's. And my shoulder's acting up again. Just took Holy Communion and I'm gonna sleep now and wake up to a whole new, healed body. Amen :))
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December 07, 2004
I was kinda regretting signing up for camp and all at first. Cause my caregroup wasn't united and it was so clique-ish. And the girls were all quite cheena. So I was like complaining and whining to Jas. But I'm now so glad that I went for camp. They ministering and worship was awesome. I never felt Him so real in my life. It was almost tangible.
The first session, Deacon called for those who had broken dreams in their lives to go up front for prayer. Coach Louis prayed for a broken relationship in my life. It was amazing. I mean, a broken relationship in my life?? That's the thing that's got me down for like months. I was so overwhelmed with God's love for me. I was so emotional during Praise and worship. Though I was crying like crazy and everything, I felt so much peace in my heart. Like He was taking away the pain and hurt. After which He called for those who wanted a fresh touch from Jesus to go up. Man, it was more than the fresh touch I was searching for. Indeed God gives you more than you ask for. I mean He's the God of super abundance, His supply never runs out man! Amen :)) I can't really remember who prayed for me but I just fell under the power of God and there was really immense peace!
Second day's morning session was great too!! I was actually hesitant to go up for prayer. But as I sat there in His presence, I got more and more emotional. And I felt something pushing me to go forward. So when Deacon asked for those sitting down not to hesitate and just walk up, I went forwards. Coach Tina prayed for me. I felt the power so strong, I almost fell back. But she grabbed me and kept praying for me. She kept reassuring me that I AM Daddy's little girl. That God loves me for who I am, UNCONDITIONALLY and ETERNALLY! Then she just hugged me tight. I felt like Daddy was holding in His warm embrace. I felt so loved and treasured by Him. It was amazing, really!
M&W's meeting at night was so emotional and touching!! Pauline was sharing about family stuff. She played this secular song. And God really ministered to me. There was this part, I think it was the second verse. It was something about the father seeing his daughter come home with her boyfriend and he was jealous. And like I felt God speak to me in that still, comforting voice. He said to let Him love me first before I let any other man love me. He told me that He was jealous for my love. Cause when I was with *him, I depended on *him for love and security. I didn't lean on His love for me. Then He told me to stop blaming myself for the relationship not working out. I guess somehow inside, I kept blaming myself. Telling myself that I shouldn't have said this and that, that I shouldn't have done certain stuff and what not. I was really touched by that. It's amazing that even when ministering to those who were hurt by broken families, God still found that time to minister to my wasted heart.
Before that, Angie shared about her past and how God has really restored and turned her life around. Looking at her today, no one would've thought she'd gone through all that. And I really thank God that she shared her life. That she was so honest and vulnerable with us all. After that, I just felt I had to talk to her. And after that talk, in which she kept assuring me of His love for me, she gave me a huge hug. And I felt that God was hugging me.
He ministered to me even during the next morning's Q&A session. I had a coupla tiny revelations. Praise God!! And He was just so real. I can't even begin to explain the kinda peace I felt. And the awesome thing was that it seemed He was answering the questions privately. When the leaders answered some of the questions posed, it was like He was answering me privately inside. Praise God man!! Really all praises to Him :))
The last night's session wasn't that emotional. Thank God!! We were joking that we'd all go home blind. Lols. Everyone was like crying at every single session. Deacon was talking about how everyone has a special annointing and calling from God. So the leaders went round praying for everyone with olive oil. I felt so at peace but because I wasn't emotional at all, I thought something was wrong. Lols. I cried out to God in my heart. I told Him that I didn't believe He was lying when He said everyone had a calling. But why didn't I feel anything. Then that small still voice said "the desire is in your heart for a reason". Amen! But of course I was too busy screaming at Him to notice it. But He was so patient with me. After the third or fourth time I heard it, I was like whoa!! I don't know how to describe it. It was kinda like I was relieved? Haha. The amazing thing was that I was sharing with my caregroup girls (Jingyi and Sheryl) about that desire the night before. And almost immediately after that, Deacon called for that certain group of people!! I was so shocked. I mean, really, God works in amazing ways. The moment Angie laid hands on me, I don't think she had time to say anything, I just fell. The power of God was just so strong. I tried to resist by stepping back cause I really wanted her to finish praying for me. Hahah. But I just couldn't. But the peace I felt was amazing.
I've really never felt so peaceful in my life. Though I was very emotional, there was immense peace in my heart. I felt so loved. And for the first time, I felt someone loved me the way I am. Not because I loved him first, not because of how I treated Him, not because of what I've done for me. HE treated me good. HE died for me. HE loved me first, before I learnt to love Him!! I've really been blessed by the camp! He was so so real. It was as if I could touch the hem of His robe if I just reached out. That was how real He was to me. And I believe that He will continue to be real in my life! Cause He's always with me!! Amen :))
Though I expected more from my CG, I'm so thankful that He has touched my heart and been so real to me, that I don't really care about that disappointment anymore. I honestly expected a whole lot more from my CG. Oh wells. He is real and that's all that matters right now!! There's still so much to share but I kinda am too lazy to type it out and besides I don't know how to type it out. Haha
Yes, Jesus loves me
Loves, oh yes, Jesus loves me
For the bible tells me so
(I know I am loved) For the bible tells me so
(Feels so good to know) That I'm never alone
See sometimes lonely but never alone
For the bible tells
For the bible tells
For the bible tells me so
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December 05, 2004
i'll fulfill your call on my lifei'll put my pain behind meand look straight aheadlet your hand always guide meguide me to the very end
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December 01, 2004
don't go awaysay what you saybut say that you'll stayforever and a day in the time of my lifecause i need more timeyes, i need more time,just to make things right was it worth the price you paid, for my never coming back?
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