.//cheryl-ann-
the beautiful disaster, hopelessly and recklessly needing the boy. giving this her all, the last semblance of trust left within. this is imperfection perfected, in her heart

[[she drowns in her dreams. an exquisite extreme, she knows. she's as damned as she seems, and more heaven than a heart could hold
she's soft to the touch. but frayed at the end, she breaks. she's never enough, and still she's more than one can take]]




.escapism
benji ching<3 daph epicurean marcus koh mel tan nana song xia yanqi eddie hui min junz michelle peiying sam terence* weihui annabelle anthony asher ashley belinda dunstan grace jingyi nikki adeline<3 ashley aurelia(: brian cheryl<3 cheryl ong eileen huimin izzie jamie jas<3 jia ker<3 marc mirah noven pearlyn ron rach rui sha shane theresa<3 wanling wyn yanxi val<3

.the dark room

.triggered. 051404 052504 052904 "Ride Of Our Lives" tuition peeps school Odds and Ends Canada 2004 HIStoryMakers5!! Choir :)) hangin' and chillin' sevens'05 day 1 sevens'05 day 2 May 22. 2005 Trinity Camp at Rawson St Kilda Masquerade Ball


.haunted past

May 2004 June 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005

May 12, 2005

It's ironic how just a couple of days back, I was assuring Rik that he wasn't as lonely as he thought he was. Yet at this very moment in time, with a number of people on my contact list online and a cell phone with numbers of people, I feel alone. I can't seem to see anyone who'd care enough and understand. I feel stuck in this paradox of solitude; craving it yet needing someone to pour my heart out to. I'm starting to feel what Teri feels like; a sailor left to fight the rocky seas alone.

The days have been passing in a complete blur. It was over 70 days when I started counting down, and now it's just under 20 days. What seemed so surreal has just become real in what seems like a week. I don't know how to react to that. General expectation is for me to either be wistful or enthusiastic, but I feel nothing. I try to dig deep for some kind of emotion but I come up with nothing. I suppose months of repressing any sign of weakness in the form of emotion has rendered me more or less stolid.

Mused that maybe I never really loved *you after all. After all, I didn't go to the ends of the world for *you, didn't pull the stars down for *you, didn't take any punches or break any bones for *you. Wasn't self-sacrificing enough for *you. Probably a good thing *you left. I couldn't have done anything else for *you.

-playing suicide is painless - manic street preachers


+..all cried out..+ . [9:34 PM