.//cheryl-ann-
the beautiful disaster, hopelessly and recklessly needing the boy. giving this her all, the last semblance of trust left within. this is imperfection perfected, in her heart

[[she drowns in her dreams. an exquisite extreme, she knows. she's as damned as she seems, and more heaven than a heart could hold
she's soft to the touch. but frayed at the end, she breaks. she's never enough, and still she's more than one can take]]




.escapism
benji ching<3 daph epicurean marcus koh mel tan nana song xia yanqi eddie hui min junz michelle peiying sam terence* weihui annabelle anthony asher ashley belinda dunstan grace jingyi nikki adeline<3 ashley aurelia(: brian cheryl<3 cheryl ong eileen huimin izzie jamie jas<3 jia ker<3 marc mirah noven pearlyn ron rach rui sha shane theresa<3 wanling wyn yanxi val<3

.the dark room

.triggered. 051404 052504 052904 "Ride Of Our Lives" tuition peeps school Odds and Ends Canada 2004 HIStoryMakers5!! Choir :)) hangin' and chillin' sevens'05 day 1 sevens'05 day 2 May 22. 2005 Trinity Camp at Rawson St Kilda Masquerade Ball


.haunted past

May 2004 June 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005

March 10, 2005

I hate how those dreams of *you and the memories are stopping me from leaving. Just this morning I woke up, called Ker and said I didn't wanna go anymore. But those are just dreams, just memories. *We're over, have been over for ages. For the one time in my life, I shall be PRACTICAL, be REALISTIC. Just like how *you always told me to be. This is the one time I'm gonna show the world, and myself that there is sanity left in me.

Reality has slapped me right in the face. Cold, hard bitch that reality. I owe my folks way too much. I need to be fine. I need to make it! This is my last chance to prove myself. That I'm not as stupid as I think I am, that I'm not a parasite on earth. I owe it to my parents to come back and succeed as a doctor or a psychiatrist! I owe that much to them. They've invested (in their own words) too much in me and I need to do my part to make sure the rate of returns are high!!

I NEED TO BE FINE! I will go to Melbourne. I will study and do my best. I will continue to trust God for His goodness and that He will not fail me though I'm such a horrible person. I will miss *you and think of *you. I will still love *you. But that's all. I will not let the pain stop me from doing my typical-chinese-need-to-save-face folks proud!! So really, it doesn't matter how much I miss *you, think of *you and love *you! *You don't care! I just need to keep reminding myself


*but it's not so bad, *you're only the best i ever had. *you don't want me back, *you're just the best i ever had
-playing the best i ever had - vertical horizon


+..all cried out..+ . [5:04 PM