Have I said how much I hate cny?? Seriously I do. The red and gold's blinding my eyes. And I hate putting up with relatives I only see once a year (if there's no major wedding) asking me why I'm in poly. I hate being in poly ok. Yes, I regret not being in JC, for being so insistent on AC or CJ and nothing else. I regret ok!! Yang was right. I'm stupid. Stupid for not going to a JC even though I could've entered SR or YJ. Had to sit through the reunion dinner with everyone bugging me. My cousin was giving me a sympathetic look. THANKS ALOT! At least I had *you last year to get me through with *your sweet, assuring messages. Most importantly, I had *you last year!! ARGH! I'm feeling so ****ed right now.

Just the thought of one more day tomorrow makes me wanna die. I don't even care if I don't get any red packets. I just want them to stop rubbing it in. Like wtf am I supposed to do now? I'm stuck in a dead end course, hating it. And my dad thinks it's the best thing that ever happened to me. 3 tables of people wowing at the fact that I'm doing banking. Yea, no one told them I was flunking. And no, I refuse to pray for this. I don't wanna do well in this. In fact I don't wanna do this. And to add to all the crap, my crazy mother refuses to let me turn off the lights when I sleep. Some STUPID peranakan superstition thing. I love my peranakan roots but I think the superstitions are crap. It used to be just the hall lights, now it's ALL the lights!! -screams- Oh and she's dragging us to the temple tomorrow morning. Like wth? I'm dragging myself there only cause my grandparents' urns are there :\ And she changed my sheets, to some ugly pink sheets. It's UGLY and so rough. Must be some cheapo sheets she got from some sale -faints-

If *you ask me if I still do care, I do but I don't want to. If *you ask if I still love *you, I do but I don't want to. Simply because no matter how much I care and love *you, it's OVER. And it's NOT gonna happen again! Never ever! ****!!!

-playing class 95