November 04, 2004
This sounds so freaking dumb. Cause I should've been over *you so long ago. Like *you said, it's time to move on. Yes, it's time. But why does it hurt so much? I need my friends with me now. I need a hug badly. I need a shoulder to cry on. Talked to my friends on MSN. Everyone's happy with this decision of mine yet no one sees the tears. I wonder if this is best for me but since everyone's happy. I should listen for once. [[I wish I could be every little thing you wanted, all the time]] But since *you wouldn't give me a chance, the only thing left for me to do is leave.
This seriously hurts. But I just gotta say it. I'm getting over *you. I don't even think *you read this. But if *you do. Yes, I'm getting over *you. Apparently saying I'm getting over *you hurts so much more than saying I love *you but *you don't love me back. And I wonder why. Really I do. And this time round, I'll stay strong. Not only for my friends and everyone who cares. But also for *you. I stupidly kept *your messages since that day. But I just read them. And yes, I'll take care of myself. And I wanna stay strong just to smile and say hi to *you IF we ever do meet again. I wanna stay strong so I can give you a genuine smile IF I do see *you. Seriously, I think I sound like a fucktard right now.
if ever i do see you again
just know that somewhere, deep inside my heart
i still do love you
but i gotta move on
i gotta let go
let go of the memories
let go of the pain
i wanna say that i'll be right here waiting
if you ever do wanna come back
but i know
no matter how many times i say it
you won't ever come back
so i shall just leave with words unsaid
i know you're so happy right now
i know your life is close to perfect
and i just pray that your life will be perfect
and that your perfect someone will love you
with the love that you deserve
that is - all the love in the world
as far as we're concerned
friends is the word
i want you as a dear friend
and i never wanna lose you again
i lost your love once
i never wanna lose you as a friend
as for the memories we've shared
kept locked up tight in a box
and the fate of that box remains unknown
one day i might open it
one day i might let go of it all
i don't know
what i know is that you've got a piece of my heart
forever
and i love you my dear
friend
I don't know if *you're reading this. But whatever the case, these words are from my heart. I mean every single word I say. Through the tears and the pain, I searched my heart for the right words to describe how I feel. And this is the best I could come up with. They never could come close to what I feel. But I do hope they get my message across and I really hope *you see them.
+..all cried out..+ . [11:23 PM
