.//cheryl-ann-
the beautiful disaster, hopelessly and recklessly needing the boy. giving this her all, the last semblance of trust left within. this is imperfection perfected, in her heart

[[she drowns in her dreams. an exquisite extreme, she knows. she's as damned as she seems, and more heaven than a heart could hold
she's soft to the touch. but frayed at the end, she breaks. she's never enough, and still she's more than one can take]]




.escapism
benji ching<3 daph epicurean marcus koh mel tan nana song xia yanqi eddie hui min junz michelle peiying sam terence* weihui annabelle anthony asher ashley belinda dunstan grace jingyi nikki adeline<3 ashley aurelia(: brian cheryl<3 cheryl ong eileen huimin izzie jamie jas<3 jia ker<3 marc mirah noven pearlyn ron rach rui sha shane theresa<3 wanling wyn yanxi val<3

.the dark room

.triggered. 051404 052504 052904 "Ride Of Our Lives" tuition peeps school Odds and Ends Canada 2004 HIStoryMakers5!! Choir :)) hangin' and chillin' sevens'05 day 1 sevens'05 day 2 May 22. 2005 Trinity Camp at Rawson St Kilda Masquerade Ball


.haunted past

May 2004 June 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005

November 23, 2004

I'm tired. I know I said I'd try my very best. I know I said we'll make it work. But I realized I can't. I don't have that strength. Or maybe I just don't wanna. It's been good while it lasted. And it's taking it's toll on me. I feel I'm living a lie when I'm with you. Notice how I never say iloveyou? Notice how I don't care what happens to you. I know I sound like a bitch right now. But, I just want what we had before. Is that too much to ask?

Maybe I just want the best of both worlds? Maybe not. I want *him to love me, like how I do love *him. And since that's not possible, I search for someone else's love. Is that wrong? But the problem is that I can't stop loving *him the way *he stopped loving me. So I hold on to some tiny, minute shred of hope and just keep taking from you. Is that wanting the best of both worlds? Drea, you said it is. But why is it? I'm really tired. I thought you could take my mind of *him. But I end up thinking of *him so much more. It isn't the plan. It isn't it isn't it isn't! I'm so tired of this.

The logical thing would be to leave so no one gets hurt. The pratical thing to do is for me to be alone. But I don't wanna be alone. I don't know if I love you. But I want your love. I want you to love me unconditionally. I just want someone to love me. Yet my mind says to go. To get over *him before any other. Or maybe I'm just meant to be alone. I hate my heart sometimes. Sometimes I just wanna rip it out and throw it into the ocean or something. Maybe then I wouldn't hurt.

-

Ching dearie. I know I haven't replied your mail. Cause I really don't know what to say. I'm kinda feeling really messed up right now. I thought I'd be happy with my decision. But there's certain things I'm unsure of now. We haven't been talking in a long time. But I just want you to know that you can always turn to me ok. We can pick up where we left of. I'm sure of that. I love you dear. Thanks for sticking with me throughout. You've been incredible and I really couldn't ask for more -hugs-


+..all cried out..+ . [3:51 AM