.//cheryl-ann-
the beautiful disaster, hopelessly and recklessly needing the boy. giving this her all, the last semblance of trust left within. this is imperfection perfected, in her heart

[[she drowns in her dreams. an exquisite extreme, she knows. she's as damned as she seems, and more heaven than a heart could hold
she's soft to the touch. but frayed at the end, she breaks. she's never enough, and still she's more than one can take]]




.escapism
benji ching<3 daph epicurean marcus koh mel tan nana song xia yanqi eddie hui min junz michelle peiying sam terence* weihui annabelle anthony asher ashley belinda dunstan grace jingyi nikki adeline<3 ashley aurelia(: brian cheryl<3 cheryl ong eileen huimin izzie jamie jas<3 jia ker<3 marc mirah noven pearlyn ron rach rui sha shane theresa<3 wanling wyn yanxi val<3

.the dark room

.triggered. 051404 052504 052904 "Ride Of Our Lives" tuition peeps school Odds and Ends Canada 2004 HIStoryMakers5!! Choir :)) hangin' and chillin' sevens'05 day 1 sevens'05 day 2 May 22. 2005 Trinity Camp at Rawson St Kilda Masquerade Ball


.haunted past

May 2004 June 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005

June 30, 2004

I don't know how to react anymore, don't know how to go on living anymore. Getting disillusioned, or rather, more than I already am. Would you ever know how much I wanted to run over today, hold you in my arms and just tell how you much I still love you? Seeing you today for the first time since 20 May, I felt like someone reached inside and wrenched my heart out. Tears welled up. I wanted to walk past you but somehow I couldn't walk away without a last look. And just hearing you call out my name, my heart stopped. I wish you'd call me like how you used to.

I know I don't need anyone to make me feel whole and complete, but somehow I can't go on without you. I can't go on living when my heart is still with you. I gave you that heart and I never got it back. I know there's no greater satisfaction than walking strong with God. Yet, I'm so unsatisfied with this right now.

Been living a life focusing on myself and not on God. But I just can't find it in me to let go and let God! I find myself worrying about every single thing. So much for 'let not your heart be troubled'. I have yet to accept that this is God's will for me, and that He will give me someone better! I know I have to accept this one day but right now, at this point of time, I still want you! I don't care if that someone else is a million times better. I DON'T CARE!

-

Enough of this crap. School started at 11. Stupid lecture lasted for about 40 mins, afterwhich we had a 3 hour break. Class decided to head down to HV for lunch. Came back for econs lecture where I was basically sleeping and smsing Noven. +sighs+ Thanks for smsing me man, I dunno what I'd have done. My course sucks big time. I'm so gonna flunk out. Great! Anyways, met Jas after school. Poor girl was in school practically the whole day. Took like 4 buses just to get home. My great idea. Take bus to HV, then town, then 16 then change again to get home. Seesh! See how delusional I am. When I could've taken 2 buses. Whatever. And now I'm home, sitting in fronta my comp, smsing Ker and crying my eyes out. Seems like EVERY single day has to end with me crying. Goodbye world!




+..all cried out..+ . [9:12 PM