.//cheryl-ann-
the beautiful disaster, hopelessly and recklessly needing the boy. giving this her all, the last semblance of trust left within. this is imperfection perfected, in her heart

[[she drowns in her dreams. an exquisite extreme, she knows. she's as damned as she seems, and more heaven than a heart could hold
she's soft to the touch. but frayed at the end, she breaks. she's never enough, and still she's more than one can take]]




.escapism
benji ching<3 daph epicurean marcus koh mel tan nana song xia yanqi eddie hui min junz michelle peiying sam terence* weihui annabelle anthony asher ashley belinda dunstan grace jingyi nikki adeline<3 ashley aurelia(: brian cheryl<3 cheryl ong eileen huimin izzie jamie jas<3 jia ker<3 marc mirah noven pearlyn ron rach rui sha shane theresa<3 wanling wyn yanxi val<3

.the dark room

.triggered. 051404 052504 052904 "Ride Of Our Lives" tuition peeps school Odds and Ends Canada 2004 HIStoryMakers5!! Choir :)) hangin' and chillin' sevens'05 day 1 sevens'05 day 2 May 22. 2005 Trinity Camp at Rawson St Kilda Masquerade Ball


.haunted past

May 2004 June 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005

May 25, 2004

I don't know why... But I just hate myself now! I hate myself for feeling this way.

I hate myself..... .....
For loving you so much
For not being able to let you go
For holding on
For opening myself up to love
For not learning my lesson
For crying every single night the past month plus
For knowing that I'll never be the same again
For thinking of you everywhere I go
For hurting you
For wanting you in my life still

I just hate myself!!!!!

I think I'm gonna die soon. I just blacked out for like 15 secs in my toilet. Fcuk! I puked nothing out. Just water and sour plums?? Fcuk! All I had today was drinks and two sticks of yakitori and fcuk, I puked!!!!!!!! Just take my life NOW! It's gonna make me happier. I don't hafta live everyday wishing he was here with me. Wishing he's still my boyfriend. I hate this feeling. People say being together for 2 months is nothing! That I should be able to move on pretty easily. Not when I've dumped my whole heart into this relationship and all I get back in return is someone who leaves cause of time. Ha. Am I sounding bitter? I just feel like he could probably tell me the truth. Slap it into my face that he doesn't love me anymore, rather than saying he still does but can't commmit cause of time. Fcuk this. I wanna let myself go!


+..all cried out..+ . [10:54 PM