.//cheryl-ann-
the beautiful disaster, hopelessly and recklessly needing the boy. giving this her all, the last semblance of trust left within. this is imperfection perfected, in her heart

[[she drowns in her dreams. an exquisite extreme, she knows. she's as damned as she seems, and more heaven than a heart could hold
she's soft to the touch. but frayed at the end, she breaks. she's never enough, and still she's more than one can take
]]





.escapism
benji ching<3 daph epicurean marcus koh mel tan nana song xia yanqi eddie hui min junz michelle peiying sam terence* weihui annabelle anthony asher ashley belinda dunstan grace jingyi nikki adeline<3 ashley aurelia(: brian cheryl<3 cheryl ong eileen huimin izzie jamie jas<3 jia ker<3 marc mirah noven pearlyn ron rach rui sha shane theresa<3 wanling wyn yanxi val<3

.the dark room

.triggered. 051404 052504 052904 "Ride Of Our Lives" tuition peeps school Odds and Ends Canada 2004 HIStoryMakers5!! Choir :)) hangin' and chillin' sevens'05 day 1 sevens'05 day 2 May 22. 2005 Trinity Camp at Rawson St Kilda Masquerade Ball


.haunted past

May 2004 June 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005

October 31, 2004

Time check : 23.30pm (Saturday, 30 Oct)
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Bah :\ You guys have fun aiights. Whether your reliving your childhood going trick or treating or having Halloween parties. Was at Washington this afternoon. Bought tons of stuff. Retail therapy I'd like to call it. But somehow, it didn't feel right. Been feeling like shit lately. Sometimes I feel like I just wanna erase any memory of *you! Anyways, bought black pants, tops, 3 pairs of heels, a bikini top and 2 pairs of jeans. And I saw the cutest Adidas shoes. Thinking if I should get them x)

I really miss everyone and everything. But most of all, I really miss NCC. Haha. You might think I'm mad. But NCC's like my second home man :\ Just went for church service at my cousin's church. Never felt such an urge to walk out before. Alrights, I shall shut up about it :\ Anyways. I think I MIGHT be coming home earlier.

-

Val- I'm NOT having fun. Shopping isn't all that fun when you don't have your girlfriends with you. But I gotta admit I feel good after my purchases cause they're really nice and cheap! I'm coming home soon. I can't wait to come home. And we shall hang out k? Love ya loads +smucks+

Jas- Hey there my precious sister!! I miss you too! -whines- Make time pass faster. Lols. And yes, I still can't believe my relatives were trying to convert me -faints- You take care aiights? +hugs+

Dan & co- You guys better have fun and drink for me! Btw, I want piccas. Love ya'll +kisses each and everyone at the party+ :P


Cute huh??


I like the logo!! x)

If I could have one wish tonight
I'd wish upon a satellite
To bring me back to you


+..all cried out..+ . [2:35 PM ]
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October 30, 2004

Time check: 6.30am (Saturday, 30 Oct)
And where am I? Stuck in the cold, miserable -sighs- Could this be any worse? Dan's Halloween party's on tomorrow. And where am I? Stuck here a million miles away, missing probably the greatest party of the year -cries- And I'm missing church! And alot of people -sighs- Someone kill me already.

Well, I went shopping yesterday! I can't believe how cheap the sales here are. When they say sale, they mean sale! Got a jacket, two belts, pants, a tank, a nice top, earrings. All for just a hundred bucks! I'm never shopping back home again! It's upsetting man. Shopping with a hundred bucks back home, I'd get like 1/3 of the stuff :\ This isn't good! Gonna go to the states in an hour or so. Driving down to Seattle. Drea and Plink next weekend!

Could've slept a lil more. But I decided to wake up and talk to people online. And probably just to try my luck again -sighs- Someone just click on *his nick for me so I could say something, instead of wishing *he'd say something first. I'm rambling. Real tired

[edit @ 7.10am] I can't believe it. I'm not gonna do anything anymore. Just gonna let what I feel rot and die. Yes, let my heart decompose. Fcuk! [/edit]


+..all cried out..+ . [9:26 PM ]
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October 29, 2004

I don't get why I do it. But yes. It is nice.
The blood running down your arm. Watching the little bubbles form as the veins slowly split open. And when you run your hand over the cuts, splitting them open more. The feeling - sensational. You want it not to stop. And when the feeling finally subsides, all that remains is a void. Right when you feel that void, you drizzle alcohol over the cuts, like the drizzle of tears from your eyes. A million ants running up your arm. You lie slumped on your bed and with tears in your eyes, just smile. For that moment or two, you're where you always wanted to be! You wish you could go on feeling like that, but NO! Even your escape's too good to be true. The pain subsides, the emotions resurface and all you feel is self hatred and heartache. So you repeat that cycle over and over. Till your arm's so covered with cuts, you head to your ankles and thighs. And since you can't trust any friend for long, you change your friends often. From a small papercutter, to a bigger razor to a swiss army knife. Then you go in search of bigger, better friends! It becomes your crack. Your addiction. And a perpetual reminder of your sorry state!


+..all cried out..+ . [11:01 PM ]
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So I'm stuck here in the cold. Miserable as hell. Talked to Ker for a good hour just now. Think the money my folks gave me's just gonna be spent on phone bills. Bought like a hundred bucks worth of calling cards. I feel like crap now! I just wanna cry. I cried like crazy talking to Ker.

And YOU! I'm not having a good time. Stop asking me if I am okay


+..all cried out..+ . [1:39 PM ]
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October 27, 2004

i only wanted to love you - denine

i guess you don't know what you got till it's gone/never played the game of love/i went about it all wrong/never let you in/i never let you know/that in my heart i never wanna let you go/but now i can see the mistakes i've made/and you don't know the price i've paid/and all i need is a second chance/let me try- try and save this romance

i only wanted to love you. i never wanted to let you go. i think it's time that you should know. i only wanted to love you. i only wanted to give you all of me. i never meant to hurt you, baby can't you see. i only wanted to love you, i need you here by me. i only wanted to love you

i gotta find a way for you to hear this song/been two whole years since you've been gone/if it takes my whole life/i'll keep searching for you/gonna give you love/a love baby, that's ALL true/can't you see when i look in your eyes/tell you i'm sorry and i apologize/forgive and forget/it won't be the same this time/i'm forever yours and you're forever mine


+..all cried out..+ . [3:15 PM ]
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For the last time. I'm NOT okay. So stop messaging and calling 'just to check up'. I was alright until YOU came along. Just STOP ok. I hate feeling like I freaking owe YOU an explanation when I don't. One reason : I just like hanging as a friend, and yes, I admit. I enjoy those benefits. But those are benefits coming with what we have!! -screams- Look, even YOUr very own sister told me not to alright. YOUR OWN SISTER! Fcuk man! I don't wanna deal with this now. And I don't really care about throwing away these benefits we have. Cause it's all a game! When love isn't involved, it's not a relationship, it's a G-A-M-E, game! Stop being such a sore loser. Fine, if YOU really need an ego boosting, I LOST ok? I'm used to losing anyway. I'm used to getting freaking played anyway! One thing I don't understand is how YOU can give me all those advices about *him. How YOU can put up with me crying for *him and all. And now YOU tell me YOU want something more than we have. It makes me wonder. YOU're just here for the sake of being here aren't YOU? -screams- I DON'T WANT ANYTHING ANYMORE! Satisfied? The game officially ends HERE... Go and have YOUr nice life.

And I don't know if *you're reading this. Doubt so -sighs- I don't understand how I let you affect me so much. Why I think of *you day and night. And even dream of *you when I sleep. And really, it's *your indifference that breaks my heart -sighs- It's been what, 6 months and counting. While *you've probably moved on a million times, I'm still stuck here. Am I just retarded or what? Fcuk!

I'm really sick and tired of thinking. So really, if YOU're a friend. Just leave it ok? Let me continue being the idiot, loving *him and what not! Let me be the idiot!! LET ME BE IT ok? I'm kinda used to being called the stupid idiot and having people laugh at me

Disclaimer : YOU and *you are two different persons. And I'm sure YOU know who YOU are. Don't think *you read this anyway. (*him = *you)


+..all cried out..+ . [10:13 AM ]
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October 26, 2004

suddenly i'm not sure if a good cry is what i need. i'm not sure that i wanna talk to anyone. i'm not sure about anything. what i'm sure of is that i want *him back!

haven't cried like that in ages. tired. think i shall sleep


+..all cried out..+ . [11:40 PM ]
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Headache. Sorethroat. Just let me die. Getting affected by circumstances around me. I really should start spending more time in the Word. Spiritual life's really dry. Drained and tired out real easily now -sighs-

I don't know what I want!! But I do know one thing for sure. And don't bother asking me what that is. I think some people do know. Yes! That's what I REALLY want -sighs- Leaving thurs morning. Don't feel like it -sighs-

Bryan, sorry! Not in the mood to talk now.


+..all cried out..+ . [11:08 PM ]
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October 25, 2004

It's amazing. Spent a coupla hours with someone without bringing up a certain subject. Yes. Avoidance. Could tell we wanted to get it out. But neither of us had the guts. Probably cause we knew what the other would say. I should settle this before I leave. But honestly, there really is NOTHING for you if you stayed. So why not just leave? You know how I feel about *him. So yes. I don't see why you're making life miserable for yourself. I don't wanna say certain stuff cause I know the answers from BOTH of you! I know for sure what you're gonna say. And I definitely know what *he'd say. Sometimes I feel you're just here cause of the deal. The deal's just that - A DEAL! No strings attached!

Alrights. Enough. My head's hurting from all that thinking :\ Oh dad bought me a new jacket today. Wanted that corduroy jacket from Mango. But they didn't have it in black. So I ended up getting the long beige coduroy jacket. Not too bad but I don't think I'd wear it much. Difficult to match :\ Got a new striped shirt too. Not excited about my purchases. Btw, I got my Mango VIP card. It's a temp one though. Waiting for the official one to be mailed to me. Watched 'Ladder 49' with someone after he finished school. Quiet outing. Fear of the TALK! Met folks back at SRC for dinner. Gonna pack now. Couple more days and I'm gone. I kinda wish it was forever )':

[/edit at 2303] So we finally opened our mouths to talk -sighs- Still good friends. Still have what we had before. Benefits still there. Deal's still on. No strings attached. That's all I have to say. I don't know how long it's gonna last before we start the crap again. Shall wait and see!


+..all cried out..+ . [8:02 PM ]
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Tired. Can't sleep. Need to pack. Stuff to buy for trip. Need to talk to certain people. Certain stuff yet to be settled. Shall do what everyone has done this year. Leave it hanging. Wait if you want an answer. If not, whatever! Not bothering. Since *he could do it. I don't see why I can't. I don't care anymore. Really tired. YOU of all people should understand. But NO! You hafta add on. Thank you!!

We could've made it work
We could've found a way
But obviously *you thought otherwise

./Spinning :: Disappear - Hoobastank
Who am I kidding. *You're not gonna be here



+..all cried out..+ . [1:14 AM ]
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October 23, 2004

Tired. Haven't slept a wink since 12.30 in the afternoon yesterday when I woke up. Dragged myself to school for ob paper. Left after an hour, not surprising. Went back all the way to the east to Rik's place. Jammed till 5 plus. The band's coming together nicely. Keep it up guys! And our little drummer boy rocks. The singer's dying. Throat's dead. Left to meet Benji in town. I'm feeling faint now. Head's spinning. Taking a long time to type this. But I still don't wanna go offline. I guess I just wanna see. Just for the sake of seeing?

Been thinking since last night. Since the previous entry. Can't sleep. It's like a whirlwind inside of my head.

-

Drea :x: I don't know if I'm looking forward to it. I mean staying here, there's like a lil minute chance that I might stilll... I miss you so much. I really wanna cry

Noven :x: Abuse you? Me? No please! Stop laughing at me la can :((

Val :x: Of course sweetie. My pleasure :)) Any request? Color? Image? Words? I know the tagboard's quite screwed :\ Well, I sure hope I'm not. But I'm really feeling like I'm so horrid :\ Anywhos, I miss you too!! Soo much la can! -hugs hugs hugs hugs hugs- Lols

[edit] Too many butterflies. Too tired to change. Another day! Can't see [/edit]


+..all cried out..+ . [9:49 PM ]
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October 22, 2004

I'm the world's most HORRID friend! I can't do anything right now. It pains me to see my friends like that, but I really am too overwhelmed right now. Yes, I think I'm selfish. I'm SORRY. SO SORRY girl! Maybe I don't wanna get too involved because it kinda reminds me of what I had before and I just don't wanna think about the pain and insecurity anymore. I just pray that God gives me the strength and grace to be a good friend. Someone who can be counted on. I'm nothing in myself! Seriously, I'm so selfish. I'm so caught up with my problems, I'm not the friend I was before.

I have sky high expectations of myself. And though people tell me to live contented with my life, I don't think I can ever be contented with my life unless I fulfil my expectations. Somehow, I feel that being contented with what I have is just COMPROMISING myself. I don't know. I guess that's the pride in me working? I don't know. Is having expectations of myself not trusting God? Is it not resting that trusting that He provides, that He is the Lord of my life?

I don't know how much longer I can go one living like this. Sometimes I feel that God refuses to do anything about my situation cause this is the only way I depend on Him daily for my strength to get through each day. This is the time when I truly depend on Him and Him alone. For I learnt the hard way. My constant labouring isn't gonna get me anywhere. But then again, I'm still going nowhere. Coming back to my expectations... I'm not contented with just getting through each day. I wanna go through each day with joy and peace. I think, what have I done wrong? What have I not done? What have I done? I don't know. I really don't understand His ways. And I don't seek to understand them. I just ask that He does something about this. Cause He can. There's NO doubt about it. But I wonder why He isn't willing.

I'm just so sick and tired. Really not contented with just getting through each day in a daze. If there's strength from Him to get through the day, I don't understand why He doesn't give me the joy and peace for it. Sometimes I really wonder... What I was put here on earth for. Sometimes I feel like I'm such a joke to Him. Like I'm some kind of an amusement to Him.

I feel like I need to talk. To who, I have NO IDEA! And when I find someone I can talk to, I find myself acting strong, like I've got it all together. What in the world is wrong with me?


+..all cried out..+ . [10:38 PM ]
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I'm so sick and tired. Really. Can someone shoot me please? -sighs-

Whatever! I just watched Singapore Idol (recorded it). CHRIS LEE is how cute please? And he sang ANGELS!!! -faints- I love that song. He's like CUTE! -dies- Okay, I'm mad. Oh and Olinda Cho's voice is amazing!! Realized the more I watch Sylvester, the more he looks like a cheena boyband singer. Lols. I don't like!

the urge to cut myself is back. maybe i should. miss that pain


+..all cried out..+ . [1:27 PM ]
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October 21, 2004

Back from BS. I never knew the bible could be read this way. The symbology, the signs... BEAUTIFUL! I saw that crazy MelWONG before BS. Stupid woman was suanning me about last night :\ Okay, I shall provide entertainment and let you laugh at me...

While we were standing outside Zouk deciding who'd go home with who, I realized I didn't have my phone with me. So I freaked out and everyone else was like panicking. So Edgar told me to do a memory jog. And I was sure I didn't take out my phone at NA. Stephan went back into Zouk with Bry and tried looking for my phone but came out shaking heads. So I was like maybe I dropped it on the cab on the way to NA. Tried calling my phone. Was still ringing. THEN... I remembered, I rushed outta the house not holding anything! -faints- Man, if looks could kill, the looks that the guys shot me would've killed me three times over :\ Then the girls were like laughing so hard people stared at us -faints-

Okay, enough entertainment for you guys. Btw, I know the skin sucks :(( Shall go off now. Really tired. Last note before I leave -- I MISS *YOU!


+..all cried out..+ . [11:23 PM ]
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Oh my goodness! You look like a little boy here. Eh and Benji, your eyebags are PRADAs can! Lols. Kidding Posted by Hello


+..all cried out..+ . [2:34 PM ]
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Ooops. Did I hold the cam or were you holding it? Posted by Hello


+..all cried out..+ . [2:33 PM ]
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Yes BenjaBOO. I FINALLY uploaded the pics. Man, your hand is so not shaky la Posted by Hello


+..all cried out..+ . [2:32 PM ]
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Bored. Feeling narcissitic. So there. New skin. Sentences getting shorter. Good. Might change skin soon. So people won't puke


+..all cried out..+ . [2:02 PM ]
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Got home at seven. Tired. Thought alot the whole night, cause some pig was sleeping and refused to entertain me. Thanks Bry :\ Listened to 'Wasted Time' by Eagles from 3-5. And I'm listening to it now. I LOVE the Eagles! I digress...

Anyways, my thoughts... too private to share. Ask and I MAY tell you.

I realized I've been spending too much time worrying. Instead of looking to Jesus and referring back to the cross, all I've done is look at my stupid problems and the world around me -sighs- It's really hard sometimes, to trust grace cause it's so supernatural and you're so overwhelmed by the problem. I guess that's where prayer comes in and I haven't spent time in prayer. Yes, I read the bible and all but I haven't spent what I'd like to call quality time, with Jesus -sighs-

My thoughts are in a mess. Need to reorganize. I think I shall go pack up the stuff to bring over. There's tons of nonsense I gotta bring. What's with getting my dad's jacket over for my uncle?! -faints- And I'm bringing 'Stairway To Heaven' there cause my aunt wants it. I'm so nice please. Giving her the whole set. I better pack before I leave for BS later

./Spinning :: WASTED TIME - EAGLES

Your baby's gone, and you're all alone and it looks like the end


+..all cried out..+ . [1:44 PM ]
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Sitting here in Bry's room after Mambo. Remind me never again to Mambo when I'm upset and when I'm not in the mood. Freaking waste of time. We should've stayed at NewAsia drinking -sighs-

Talked a hell lot at NA. Kel, MelWONG, Ker, Dan, Bry, Edgar, Stephan. Surprised we got in NA. Whole lot of us (cept for Ker and Dan) feeling emo. Drank loads. Can't think straight now. Left for Zouk at 12.30. Left Zouk at 2. Bry has school tomorrow. Drank to my 6 months of loneliness and pining. Yeah, six months and I'm still in love with *him. What a joke. Mambo was horrid. No one was in the mood. Packed. Ended up standing around. Supposed to go home. Don't wanna risk getting caught. Decided to go home when Bry goes to school tomorrow. When my mom's out at work. Pig's sleeping. I'm thinking. With a head full of alcohol. Tears flowing so freely. Out-



+..all cried out..+ . [2:24 AM ]
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October 20, 2004

Okay. I was supposed to meet them in town at 9.30. But I woke up at 10. And now I'm waiting for Bry's call. Meeting them outside Zouk around 11.30 or so? Why don't I feel like going now? -sighs-


+..all cried out..+ . [10:43 PM ]
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On the way home in the cab, I was thinking and somehow my thoughts wandered to this CLICHED quote "The guy/girl who is worth your tears will never make you cry." And this is what I have to say about it.

The guy/girl who is worth your tears and will never ever make you cry, is the person who loves you so much more than you love him/her. That person would be the one crying over you. And he/she is worth it simply because he/she would do anything for you, he/she would try his/her best to make you happy and make you smile all the time. But sad to say, you can NEVER love him/her back the same way he/she loves you. You try your best but you can't ever.

Cause the person that makes you cry is the person who you would give anything for, the person whom you love from the bottom of your heart and the person who doesn't love you back the way you wish he/she would. But somehow after what everyone says, you feel that the person who you're crying over IS worth it. Because you truly love that person.

Sometimes I think that feelings bring out the naivety in people? Feelings bring out the vulnerabilities in people? Okay, I'm thinking too much! I'm off to sleep now. Mambo-ing tonight! Can't wait


+..all cried out..+ . [5:10 PM ]
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October 19, 2004

Why is my whole blog gone? Like only the stupid doodle board is left! -faints- Whatever. I'm going shopping tomorrow! Gonna buy a new top. Mambo!! Somehow I don't really feel like going... Cause I'm like how broke! Can I return the CDs that I bought yesterday? Lols. I bought Phil Collins, Zouk Flava, 5566 greatest hits(?), Jay Chou, Avril's Complicated (cause I lost it), Hell Freezes Over (again cause I lost the other one) and The Passion DVD -faints- I just realized I won't listen to half of them. Can I return? -cries-

I'm hyper now. Damn bored. Not studying for tomorrow's paper cause I don't know what to study! Lols. I give up. Oh crap, I gotta buy my cousin's stuff tomorrow and I forgot what it is I'm supposed to buy. Ker is irritating me on the phone with her incessant crapping! -dies- Oh yes. And TWO more people are leaving next year! Jas and Kel -cries- I wanna go!


+..all cried out..+ . [11:01 PM ]
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Econs paper. I seriously think I'm retarded! I remember going through elasticity last night. And I specifically remember rl telling me something. But great!! I got so upset over a certain matter that everything went down the drain. Put it this way, the only thing I actually read through, I FORGOT. So you can imagine the rest of the paper. Besides, how can anyone fuck up econs? It's common sense dammit!

I'm still upset!! Too much of a coincidence! -screams- This is so frustrating. To add to the fire, I'm in another cold war with the folks. I think this one's not gonna end soon. Yay! Less people to talk to.

How will you start it over? You don't know what became. You don't care much for a stranger's touch, but you can't hold your man.
-sighs- How apt

I'm so irritated right now. Must be the lack of sleep. Anyways, this popped in. I really don't like how people change during exam period. So you mean to tell me your results are more important than your life? Wtf! It really doesn't pay to be kind. We put up with you flaring up and all and now you're saying we wanna run your life?? Forget it! I really don't care. Know what, mug your fever away. And maybe you wouldn't wake up for the paper?? So you won't hafta mug anymore. Argh! I'm really bitchy and all. Shall sleep! I've got some more crap to blog. Continue later



+..all cried out..+ . [11:53 AM ]
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Just back!! Oh my goodness. I can't believe I saw so many people there -faints- Oh my godness, I'm trying to blog and talk at the SAME time. And trying to understand to understand what my dear Noven is talking about!! And she's talking alot of crap, irritating me!!

AWESOME! Thanks Baby bruddah Bryan!! I lubba chu!! Thanks for coming to the concert with me. And for putting up with me! I know I was being so impossible. Was really down. But the concert really perked me up!! I appreciate it you silly emo babybruddah :)) And I'm so glad I wasn't stubborn enough to stay home. And I'm so glad that you bothered to pester me to go though I was screaming and freaking out! Thanks my emo babybruddah!! Lub chiu!! :))

Desperado, why don't you come to your senses? Oh wells. Met EDGAR!! Oh my. The last time I saw him was like months ago and he FINALLY cut his hair. Hahah. Outta point. Oh yes, that stupid ass commented that I'm ALWAYS wearing black. Like hello my dear Edgar, I only met you twice!! And today was the second time. Stupid ass! But his mom was damn nice please. She sent me all the way home from indoor stadium and I think she sent Bry home to River Valley when they like stay near Orchard! She's damn funny too! Was fagging outside while waiting for her then she came and I tried to stub out the cig. So when I got into the car, she was like "It's okay girl. Don't hafta stub it out. I'm not a policewoman who's gonna arrest you for underaged smoking" Lols. She's damn funny!!

Oh, I went on a mad CD buying spree -faints- I like bought almost 170 bucks of CDs from HMV. I'm now BROKE!! And I wanna go for Jay Chou's concert! Lols. I'm mad now. Damn high!! :\ Oh Bryan bought me 'Altered Frequency'. My emo babybruddah rocks! :P Anyone up for Jay's concert??? I wanna go!!! Songs are running through my mind now. Nice nice. Shite! I can't get into the mood for studying econs paper tomorrow :\ And I'm really UPSET right now. I can't believe it. Never mind. Shall blog more later or tomorrow
-

Val :x: Yes momsie!! I miss you too!! So much! Take care okay?? Love ya plenty :))

Ker :x: Of course! Poor him. He had to put up with me for like eternity. Tell you more later on the phone :D Love ya babe!

Kel :x: MAMBO! I CAN'T FREAKING WAIT! Missing you girl :))

-

Now it seems to me some fine things have been laid upon your table
But you only want the ones you can't get. (Do I really?)


+..all cried out..+ . [1:47 AM ]
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October 18, 2004

-faints- I left a 25 mark question TOTALLY blank. And thats not all, I think I left 70-80% of the paper blank :\ I am so screwed! Yay!! Gonna sleep for awhile now before heading out for CONCERT later!! The greatest concert of all time on the eve of my econs paper!! Yay. And I haven't started on econs. Watch me dieeee!


+..all cried out..+ . [4:44 PM ]
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I just need to blog!

Mel NG :x: I'm so sorry for the phonecall. Did I freak you out? And thanks for being there ok?? I don't know what happened. And yes, you can laugh at me for being so useless. Maybe I shall try to cheat North, South, East, West tomorrow yea?? Thanks big face!! +hugs+

Ching :x: Dear, thank you!! I don't know what I'd do without you. You're my crutch man. And seeing what a crippled I am, I'd die without that crutch!! Love you dear!! +muahx+

RL :x: You really did sound like her la! Thanks thanks for accompanying me :)) Eh, I'm blogging while waiting for you comp to FINISH sending me the song please!! :\ So slow! And I can finally see the background. NICE!

Btw, did anyone tag?? Cause I can't see any recent entries. My tagboard's showing me weird entries from like ages ago. Sorry if I didn't reply any tags :\ Not my fault this time round ;) I wanna watch the new Sammi show (Long2 Feng4 Men2?). And 2046 is nice. I wanna watch again! Btw, 'The Forgotten' opens Nov 4!

对不起 我爱你 - 梁静茹
  • 没别的 只想说对不起 对不起 我真的爱你 不管你会怎么想 你怎么说 也不会改变我的决定你知道 有时候感情事很难说 爱人或朋友从前到现在 我真的感觉要 一想你 我的心就发烧 想给你听我的心跳 想你知道我睡的不好 喝水想着你 搭车想着你 阖眼闭眼间 出现的全是你我猜不到你的表情 我等不到你的回应不想难为你 又不想放弃你 决定告诉你 对不起 对不起 我爱你 没别的 只想说对不起 怎么样 我都会珍惜不管你会怎么讲 你怎么做 也不会影响我的心情你知道 有时候男孩更难捉摸 难捉摸 爱人或朋友现在到永远 我真会感觉要 一想你 我的心就狂跳我的模样记不记的牢 情人卡有没有收到 读书想着你 听歌想着你 大地和蓝天 出现的全是你 我才不管你的表情 我才不理你回不回应 不想难为你 又不想放弃你 决定告诉你 对不起对不起 我爱你 你听一听我的心跳 你看一看我睡的不好喝水想着你 搭车想着你 阖眼闭眼间 出现的全是你我 猜不到你的表情 我等不到你的回应 不想难为你 又不想放弃你 决定告诉你 对不起对不起 我爱你

Exam's in 12 hours?? Counting down. Btw, change the encoding to unicode if you can't see the words and if you bother /:






+..all cried out..+ . [2:11 AM ]
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October 17, 2004

so much for looking to Jesus and not the problem. so much for all that talk. im just some pathetic freak. no discipline. no faith. no nothing. im a useless parasite who should be wiped off the face of this earth. so much for being the beloved daughter of God. where are You now when i need You? stop hiding from me. or maybe You just hate me too much? i seem to have that effect on everyone anyway


+..all cried out..+ . [10:33 PM ]
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./Spinning :: Everything I Own - Bread

Sappy love songs are the perfect accompaniment (sp?) for days like these. Yeah wells. Anyone heard of like tear duct operations or something? Where they totally cut off your tear ducts or whatever so you won't tear at the slightest things?

I gotta stop looking to my problems and start looking to JESUS. After all, the problems are solved with the PERFECT solution. I gotta stop. Man, this is hard. O faithless me :'(

The night has gone, a part of yesterday
I don't know what to say, I don't know what to say


+..all cried out..+ . [8:41 PM ]
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October 16, 2004

I would give anything I own,
Give up my life, my heart, my home.
I would give everything I own,
Just to have you back again.


+..all cried out..+ . [11:24 PM ]
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Was babysitting that adorable lil baby cousin of mine. Oh my goodness!! He's so cute. That smile of his melted me. And my aunt and uncle say that I spoil him. Well, such an angel deserves to be spoilt please! So cute. Ahhh! And no, I'm not a pedophile(sp?). I just think he's really adorable. My son WILL be cuter than him. If I do get married and all. Oh my gosh! He's so cute. Yes, I adore CUTE and obedient babies. I stress CUTE and OBEDIENT! Really. He's such an angel. I had to resist the urge to kidnap him. Everyone says I spoil that kid. Only cause he's so adorable and precious :\ I could go on all night but I realize I should stop

Lately I realized I've been in that crying mood. I cry at the slightest things. Example? I was reading "Angels and Demons" by Dan Brown, and I freaking started tearing. I know!!!! Hardly a book to get emotional over. Something's wrong with me :'(


+..all cried out..+ . [10:31 PM ]
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I wanna go again tonight. Anyone up for drinks? Being really pathetic here. What's new. Somehow when *you creep back into my mind when I'm drunk, there's a perfect excuse : I was drunk and hence had no control over my thoughts, speech and actions. Isn't that the most perfect excuse in the world? Oh and since I haven't studied, I couldn't study cause I couldn't think. Too much alcohol in the system.

Rights. I'm mad I know. Rambling on and on. I need to get away. But I don't want to! Or do I? Do I really?


+..all cried out..+ . [2:46 PM ]
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So clubbing wasn't fun! I mean I had fun but I expected more. Maybe it's me and my sky high expectations?

I just hate it when *you find your way back into my head when I'm trying to have fun. Anywhoos, thanks BENJI! And I hope you won't wake up with a hangover!! *love


+..all cried out..+ . [3:03 AM ]
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October 15, 2004

Gonna redesign this crap piece here. Yes, I'm gonna spend my time reading html books instead of my notes. Did I mention my exams are on monday? And I haven't started studying. Well, I just did! So yeah. Html here I come... Might take awhile though. Probably will finish it up in canada since I'm gonna be alone for a month.


+..all cried out..+ . [3:12 PM ]
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Funny how people who're so far away can touch your lil heart just with a 10 minute phone call. I love you Andrea!! You never fail to bring warmth in this cold cold world of mine. I love you girl! Yes!! It's the 15th today. Another 13 days! And I love you Plink! I like getting emails from you. It always ends with something so heartening. I should fly away and live with both of you -cries- I just realized how much I miss you guys

Ironic really. People who're so physically close are so distant in heart. Yet people who're 48703724117483 million miles away can touch your heart with just a simple gesture. Yes, I feel I've drifted away from certain people. And I don't think I welcome that :\ But there's only so much I can do before I become a pest. Been in a whole melacholic mood lately. I don't know why. Maybe I've always been like that? Or maybe certain matters and people?? I don't know.

Spiritual walk has been so trying. I'm tired of everything! I need...... I don't even know what I need. I don't even know what I want -sighs-

Thanks Val, you're such a sweetie :)) Love you so much!

In a way, I hate missing people. And everyone's leaving. I wanna fly away now. Actually, I wanna go home! Can I please Daddy?


+..all cried out..+ . [2:17 PM ]
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October 14, 2004

I amaze myself. Really I do. I never fail to laugh at myself. How stupid am I? Really, tell me how f-ing dumb can I get? I go life thinking of you every minute when you're having the time of your life. With some other lucky girl. And wtf am I doing here?

You know I can't smile without you
I can't smile without you
I can't laugh and I can't sing
I'm findin' it hard to do anything
You see I feel sad when you're sad
I feel glad when you're glad
If you only knew what I'm goin' through
I just can't smile without you
You came along just like a song
And brightened my day
Who'da believed that you were part of a dream?
Now it all seems light years away
Now some people say happiness takes so very long to find
Well I'm finding it hard leavin' your love behind me


+..all cried out..+ . [10:11 PM ]
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I'm not in the mood!


+..all cried out..+ . [9:10 PM ]
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Someone got me thinking last night. Would I still care if *he was being the meanest person on earth to me? Being the stupid person that I am, I probably would. As that someone aptly put it, I'm a fei4 wu4 -claps- I'm nuts!


+..all cried out..+ . [1:05 PM ]
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Can someone teach me how to filter away thoughts of a person who means the whole world to you?? HELP!


+..all cried out..+ . [2:23 AM ]
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October 13, 2004

I'm sorry to burst your bubble. But I'm tired of games :\ I don't wanna tread around you trying to make you feel better. I might sound like a total b**** but it's better to be honest don't you think? Put it this way, I have been honest with you till THE VERY END!


+..all cried out..+ . [9:41 PM ]
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I wonder who's taken my place? Now, I need to find someone to take yours


+..all cried out..+ . [11:54 AM ]
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My head is saying "Fool, forget him"
My heart is saying "Don't let go"
Hold on 'till the end
That's what I intend to do
I'm hopelessly devoted to you

I piss myself off so much. Thank you very much! You made me hate myself! Yes you!! No one else but you. No one could make me love them like crazy. No one could drive me this mad. No one is worth my tears but you! Fuck you!



+..all cried out..+ . [1:07 AM ]
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October 12, 2004

I bought a new scent and now it's all over my room. Dang! I paid like 80++ to spray my room. I went mad shopping. Ker sprayed it on some cotton thingy and hung it in fronta my aircon -faints- Nice smell! Just like.... Haha. I shall shut up. I spent my whole entire life's savings (yeah right) today! Okay, fine I don't have savings whatever. Just lemme go on. Cause I'm pissed

Sick and tired of people telling me *he's not worth it! Like wtf! So you mean YOU'RE worth it? I mean some people seriously think that after pining after someone for 6 months, I'd just pack up and move on after what you've said?? Well, if you seriously believe that, I'm sorry to shatter your amazing belief system, but I won't! Get the hint already! Whatever. You know who you are so yeah. I'm not gonna mention names. Spoiling my day with my best girlfriend! -screams- I'm pissed

Brighter note... Dad signed the HM form and wrote the cheque. So I'm going! It's confirmed. HM here I come

./ Spinning :: Honesty - Billy Joel


+..all cried out..+ . [9:07 PM ]
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Ker honey, when you read this tonight, DON'T kill me! You know I love you right honey? :\ I'm so sorry. Silly me decided to format my comp. And now I'm organizing the files. I'm so sorry for being late. I'm cabbing down in 15 mins :\ Okay, that girl's gonna murder me. Supposed to meet her at 3 in town and its now 2.57!! +dies+ It's not my fault that the comp is taking forever!! Gonna shop for clothes. Retail therapy here I come!


+..all cried out..+ . [2:52 PM ]
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I really wish. I really wish I could turn away and say that you don't mean a thing anymore. That I no longer care and that I don't love you! But fcuk, I can't!

Realized my choice of vocab's been limited! Whatever :\ I hate you!

I don't wanna live another day
Without you by my side
I don't wanna run anymore
Running out of places to hide
Ever since you went away
Slowly I've seen
That I should've got down on my knees
And begged you to stay with me

I should have. But I didn't. Oh whatever. I don't wanna think of you. It's irritating.

Life is so "kind" to me. I'm loving it. Really I am. I love it so much I wish I would die now. Argh! I wanna go homeeeeee! I'm very homesick!! Daddy!! Take me home please?

./Spinning :: Homesick - Mercy Me



+..all cried out..+ . [1:17 AM ]
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October 11, 2004

I think I can just die now and no one would bother. Just got a phonecall. So now Ker's leaving for US next Jan for LIFE! And Bry's not going cause he's got freaking NS. Right. Another one gone. Who's next?? Yes, I'm sore! I was supposed to be the one overseas. And half of my friends who'e overseas now made last minute decisions. It's not fair! It's fucking unfair! I was planning it since I was in sec 2. And guess what, when everything was confirmed. My school in Canada, my lodging and all, my dad said NO! He wanted me to wait for results then decide. Great! And after promising me that I could go if I didn't get the school I wanted, he MADE me go to fucking poly! Argh!! His reason being I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANT AND THAT I DON'T KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF! Fuck! I know what I want. He just doesn't want what I want! Fuck fuck fuck! This is unfair. I think I'm gonna cry.


+..all cried out..+ . [6:08 PM ]
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:'( How typical.

EVERY DAMN THING/PERSON IN THE WORLD LOVES IT! Watching me cry and bringing me DOWN. Yes, they've decided to have a "bring cheryl down" competition. Congratulations to me

Neways, flight's been pushed forward AGAIN. Oct 28 instead of 30. Will be back Nov 27 and HM's on Dec 1-5. Not looking forward. Feel the COMPETITION's not gonna end soon. Yay!


+..all cried out..+ . [1:23 AM ]
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October 10, 2004

Drained of all emotions and thoughts

Don't talk to me. I bite!

Useless and worthless right now. Don't come near me.

BYE



+..all cried out..+ . [7:41 PM ]
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October 09, 2004

Blinded by the tears.

Emotional rollercoaster ride.

And its times like these I really want THAT shoulder to lean on and to cry on. I want THAT hug from THAT *someone!

I pray for grace, favour and strength to get through! It's trying and I need all the grace I can get. I can never do this on my efforts



+..all cried out..+ . [11:15 PM ]
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It's confirmed. Daddy has confirmed it!! Praise God. After I typed that entry, I felt peace and not only that. It was confirmed when I read the Word. Amen :)) Alrights, I shall elaborate further later on. Till then....


+..all cried out..+ . [1:19 AM ]
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October 08, 2004

Alrights. I need to get away from all of this all. Sorry if I don't feel like meeting up with anyone before I leave for Canada. I just need to get away and focus on some other stuff. I will explain when I'm back or something. But if I've been confiding in you, you will know why. I just wanna say I'm sorry to everyone out there. I'm currently in the process of finding myself all over again and stuff like that. It's a bold step that I MUST take (like FINALLY) *Thanks Jas, for the encouragement :)) To "alienate" myself for awhile. And it's not you guys, it's me. I love you guys... All my friends out there, everyone who's been there for me. And I hope you guys will understand yea? I still love and care for you guys!

Don't get me wrong ok. I will be here if you guys need a shoulder. I'm just not in the whole social mood and I need to get away from certain stuff. Really, I WILL be here if you need to talk or just whine and complain. But I just don't have it right now to socialize and just hang with people. I strongly believe that this is a time out from the world that I need to take. Please understand ok my dear friends? I really believe that I will come out of this a better person and friend. And that God is bringing me to new heights.



+..all cried out..+ . [11:51 PM ]
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I don't feel the way I've ever felt.
I know.
I'm gonna smile and not get worried.
I try but it shows.

Just read some thought provoking stuff! Hmmms. Looks like I'll be thinking during my stats test later :\ Since I don't think and reflect while shopping. I just stone while I'm shopping :\ This isn't good! Never mind. I shall go off now... Gonna shop for shoes and maybe a new skirt. I realized I have a grand total of like 5 skirts of which I only wear 1 +faints+ Yeah, I hate wearing skirts :\ I need clothes and moolah! I'm hyper cause I'm gonna shop! Retail THERAPY should be banned. Cause it always makes me feel better for like 10 secs and after that, I get more depressed cause I think of the moolah I've spent on stuff I'm probably gonna wear/use only once +sighs+

--

Sha :x: Go
here. It's very detailed. And the show is how addictive man. Take care babes +hugs

./Spinning :: Glory - Hillsongs


+..all cried out..+ . [2:11 PM ]
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October 07, 2004

Watching The OC now. My goodness. Seth and Summer are a real cute couple. Cuter than Marissa and Ryan :)) I'm starting to get real annoyed with Marissa right now :\ Oh wells.

I loved BS. Pastor's messages are getting better and better man. He is sooo annointed. I'm so glad to have such an annointed pastor man :)) Today's message was a message of hope! Amen. Yeap, don't look around at the cirsumstances, look to God. For He can turn your evil day into GOOD dayS! Amen. And I'm looking forward to my turnaround. I don't know how, I don't care how. But He will and I'm thankful for that :))

I FINALLY bought Wow Worship Red today! So nice. And I bought Mercy Me's new album too :)) I'm a happy girl. Gonna buy more sermon cds to bring along with me to Canada. I'm gonna missing a whole month of church :(( Oh and anyone wants to come for my church camp? It's gonna be fun!! I'm trying to drag as many people along as possible. Come :))



+..all cried out..+ . [11:09 PM ]
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Bahhs.

Cute eurasian mommy's boy! :))




+..all cried out..+ . [2:30 PM ]
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This is not good at all! I just woke up!! And I missed another day of school. Shucks, I can't be bothered to take MC. Lols. And whose fault is it?? +glares at my emo babybruddah+ Bryan Koh! You're gonna make me dieeeee. Shite. I hafta go back to school tomorrow at 6 for stats retest. I haven't touched the whole stack of notes. It's open book yes, but I have absolutely no idea where to find answers +faints+ Bah. I shouldn't let myself be affected by this. After all, I'm ABOVE the circumstance, my Jeses will bring me through. How, I don't know. But I know He WILL! Alrights, I shall be off now.

Hmmms... I think I should STOP blogging. But it's like cutting off my right hand +faints+ I need to stop coming online.




+..all cried out..+ . [1:59 PM ]
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October 06, 2004

Dinner at Prego with my bruddah Bryan. It was absolutely yummilicious! I just realized how spoilt I am. There! I've admitted that I'm hell spoilt and pampered. But I'm not gonna tell you how I came to that realization +shhh+

Thanks BryBaby! Haha. He's my lil EMO babybruddah! You're such a lil kid at heart la Bry! I lub chu alot ok!! Thanks for listening to my complains and whinings about having to carry the stuff over. And for searching high and low for the crap. And my precious precious emo babybruddah, thanks for the beeg beeg hug and for letting me cry on you! I appreciate it yeah lil boy? Heh. I'm talking to you like I would talk to my lil baby cousin. You asked for it. And it's ok to be emo. Emo's good. I like! Emo I mean :\ And don't worry too much about her okay? I'm sure she will be fine +huggies tight+ :P Chewel lubba her emo babybruddah Bwyan!

Talked a hell lot over dinner and while walking around. I just realized that he's a really sensitive guy behind that "I'm a jerk" image :)) Yay!! Another nice nice brudda to add the the list :)) I had a pretty good day today I guess. Despite bawling like a baby cause I missed someone too much :'( I really miss him. I do. Lols. Out of point! Anyways, I reckon I'm blogging too much already. So I shall bugger off now. Finally going to school tomorrow. After like goodness knows how long. Wish me luck. I so can't be bothered to wake up :\ But on the bright side, tomorrow's BS day!! Yay :D

I'm emotional and I can't let go
I am trying to hold on to you
Though it hurts me so

./Spinning :: Forever For Tonight - Blessed Union Of Souls




+..all cried out..+ . [10:38 PM ]
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I seriously hate the frigging template. It's so screwed. The font's UGLY! Don't ask me why, I just love small fonts and I find mine too BIG! Now I hafta change the entry font using blogger. Doesn't feel like my old blog no more +cries+ I'm in a weird emo mood today. Case of missing someone too much I guess.

Now here I sit, so far away
Remembering all the memeories
Its times like these that I miss you most
Remembering when we were so close

Oh yes, my mom called from office. I'm leaving Oct 30th instead. Cause my family wants to go for a short break over the weekend to Seattle and they want me to go along. I seriously think that I do not know what I want. I made the decision to go in the first place, mainly to get away from everything. To be alone for awhile and to reflect on stuff. But now, I'm regretting. I don't wanna go!! Cause I realized I'm not gonna be meeting alot of people who I was supposed to meet! +cries+ I miss everyone! But anyways, any shopping lists or requests FAST!

And yes, did I mention that I'm basically miss FedEx or something. Cause I've got a whole big huge bag of stuff to bring over for them. And my aunt mailed me a whole LONG list of stuff to buy and bring over! Great! Not only do I have to carry it all by MYSELF, I have to BUY them and PACK them :\ Yes, I'm lugging TWO huge suitcases and a handcarry. Someone shoot me. Poor me :\ Thing is, only half of the big suitcase is packed with my things. The rest of the things are theirs. Cause I'm not bringing much clothes. Shopping there :)) So yeah. I'm basically doing courier service. And my parents want me to buy things back for them. And my brother wants me to buy a guit back for him. Since I'm going to states, he wants me to buy one from states +cries+ How am I gonna carry everything back? See. I'm complaining even before I go :\ Any kind soul wants to come and help me carry everything?

I'm not, not sure,
Not too sure how it feels
To handle everyday
Like the one that just passed
In the crowds of all the people

I seriously hate the Singapore education system. Why can't everyone have holidays and exams at the SAME TIME? Not that I care about my exams. But WHY? Why must poly students have holidays different from JCs and all? I feel so alienated from the world! From my friends! I don't know how I'm gonna survive this whole social situation for THREE frigging years! Did I mention that I'm basically hanging with a grand total of THREE friends who I meet up with FREQUENTLY -- Ker, Bry and Jas! I guess it's cause I don't mix around with people in school :\ How to, when I'm not in school? I hate you SINGAPORE EDUCATION SYSTEM! I seriously HATE YOU! Don't they realize that some people actually have lives outside of poly? POLY SUCKS! No offence to poly people out there and all. But I HATE POLY! I FEEL SO STUPID TO ACTUALLY BE THERE! +sighs+ I just realized that this entry's really long and fragmented.

./Spinning :: Hello Again - Hoobastank



+..all cried out..+ . [2:04 PM ]
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October 05, 2004

Just back from AI3 concert! It was good. Jasmine Trias!! She sang one of my all time favourite songs -- If I Ain't Got You (Alicia Keyes). And JPL was soo cute please. I am officially nuts over him now. Yups. Yang was going mad over Jen Hudson. She's like amazing. Her voice was sooo clear and she squeezed out a crazily high note outta like NOWHERE! Diana's as good as ever. She sings better now actually, with good technique. Had fun! Thanks Yang!! Haven't had so much fun in a long time :)) Oh btw, I forgot to pay you for the tix. Remind me the next time I see you aiights? Thanks again! +hugs+

Btw, I've got a coupla recordings of them. Though the sound quality ain't too good. Shall upload them when I find a way to open the files. It's in a weird format that NONE of my music players in my comp can open +crosses fingers+

--

Sam :x: Hmms. I'll try my best. Though I doubt they'd have snow there so early in the year. Can pray for snow though :P Then again, if I can't get snow, will mountain air do? Lols. Or rain??? Since the snow's gonna melt to water, I might as well bring rain back for you :P

Ching :x: Dear. I'm gonna miss you so much la can. I haven't seen you or talked to you in so long. And I'm missing you like crazy already. I think I'll die missing you when I go over. Thank goodness its only for a month. Imagine if I really went over to study?? I think I'd prolly drop out cause I miss everyone so much. Hmms, let's hope this is a GOOD break and that I'd be over him when I get back? Lols. All the best for promos ok?? +smucks+

Benji :x: When is the forgotten opening? I still have the day your exams end till end Oct what. That's 2 weeks for you. And the WHOLE of dec. Don't worry la, you'll still get your new year's eve outing :)) Happy now?? Bahh. Eh, of course I'd miss you la. How can I not miss my male bitch. And the worst thing is that I can never find a substitute for this male bitch of mine. Honored? Lols. Take care okies? And GOOD LUCK for promos! You will do FINE +hugs+



+..all cried out..+ . [11:51 PM ]
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Everything's comfirmed. I'm leaving on November 1st. For a month. So I guess I won't be catching up with a lot of people, as promised. I'm sorry people :( But on the bright side, there's still the whole of dec for you guys. I needa be alone for awhile. Yeah, gonna be meeting up with family, Drea and Plink. But family's got school and work. And Drea and Plink are only gonna be up there for 4 days. So yeah, I've pretty much got a whole month to myself up in the mountains. Too bad I can't go skiing. Too early in the year :'( I hope I don't miss you guys too much! And I really hope I don't cry there. At least for a month. So... it's a month till I leave. And since everyone's busy with exams till like mid Oct and mine starts mid Oct, I guess I won't be meeting up with alot of you guys before I leave. So yeah... Btw, anyone wants anything from Canada? Ha. A lil early to be making this announcement I know. I'm already regretting. At least staying here, there's a higher probability of..... Never mind :( Well, I was supposed to go only in mid Nov. But since my aunts decided not to go to Bangkok, my mom booked the earlier flight. And guess what, I might even leave the day my exams end. Which is like Oct 23. Mom's checking the flight load. Hmm, I might leave THAT early.

Whatever. Will let people know when I'm leaving so you guys can mail, sms or whatever your shopping lists to me :) Am over at Ker's now. We're baking brownies and we made Bry go out and buy ice-cream from 7-11 :\ Yes, at this time cause Ker craved brownies and I wanted ice cream. Lols. Watched Raising Helen and I can't believe I freaking cried :\ Shite! This is so sad. I'm crying at the slightest things. Haha. Must be cause my mom called me and told me everything was confirmed. I'm supposed to be excited at the prospect of meeting up with Plink, Drea and my dearest cousin Zara. But somehow... Staying here, there's a slight chance that I MIGHT... So yeah :\ I'm lame I know. Alrighties, I'm off now. Gonna watch some more DVDs. I can't believe I lugged 6 DVDs around from my place, to Holland V then to her place +shrugs+ I'm in a weird mood



+..all cried out..+ . [1:07 AM ]
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October 04, 2004

./Spinning :: Candleburn - Dishwalla

Alrights, I think this template's really screwed. Oh wells. I gotta change the pic soon. But there's something wrong with my brushes in adobe -sighs- Great! Was supposed to go down to Sentosa with my class today. But thanks to some nice nice person -glares at Bry- who kept me on the phone till 5am this morning, I woke up at 2pm :\ Thanks dude! Gonna head down to holland v in a bit for dinner with Ker my darling!

Take me over when I'm gone
Take me over make me strong
Take me over when I'm gone
Will they burn for me
Will they burn for me

Haha. Random lyrics. Yes, I'm delirious and I've got a really dry throat :\ It's too hot and my brains are fried!

--

Jas :x: Hey babes! Thanks for tagging. Now can you see the tagboard? Lols. Same goes for you ok?? My phone's never off, unless of course I don't charge it. So you can gimme a ring and I'll fly down to your place :)) And maybe visit my bro's "GF" on the way :P Oops, he'll kill me if he sees this : Btw, I still haven't asked my folks :\ I really hope they lemme go though. Alrightys, I'll see you this fri or sat ok?? Campus on sat! Must go. You can go for young adults la :P

Kel :x: Woman! How's GP? DUH! Of course I'd make time for you. BUT, do you have time?? I miss you alot! Hmms I'm not that amazed la. I mean its her. Heh. I'm mean I know :P Btw, please make this kinda announcements on the phone instead of the tagboard. Seesh

Val :x: I didn't know you were clubbing la sweets! Besides, it wasn't THAT happening. Though the weird ass dancers were entertaining. There was this guy who looked like he was kickboxing. Man, they should've played kungfu fighting. Lols. And this gay guy who looked like he had a cramp in his hips :\ Anywhos, I will be seeing you soon. I don't care!! I miss you too much. And don't worry too much about the exams. You will be fine. Because I say so :P Take care darl *loves

You can stop the hurt inside
When love and hate collide


+..all cried out..+ . [3:26 PM ]
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October 03, 2004

I'm missing alot of people. I miss Ching, Val, Xue, Ker, my worm, Yang, Mel, Jia, Bry and tons more. MEL WONG! I miss you too! When are we getting our soul sista rings?? I desperately need to find a ring to replace that empty spot +cries+ After I stopped wearing the ring 5 months ago, my mom gave me this old diamond ring of hers. And I LOST it +cries+ And now I need a new ring. It feels weird without a ring +sighs+ Maybe it's just psychological

We don't talk the way we used to talk
It's hurtin' so deep
I've got my pride, I will not cry
But it's makin' me weak

To everyone having exams this week and next :x: GOOD LUCK people! Will be praying for you guys! All the luck in the world :)) *loves all



+..all cried out..+ . [10:15 PM ]
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Happy 17th Birthday Yang!

Happy 17th, Marcius!

You guys have fun on your birthday!


+..all cried out..+ . [1:14 AM ]
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October 02, 2004

./Spinning :: When Love And Hate Collide - Def Leppard

If you feel the need
Take my hand and share this night

Chinablack-ed with Jia, Jas and Jas's two friends. I'm surprised we (Me and Jia) got in with EZ-Links. Lols. And mine looks how fake. Ah wells. Crowd was BAD! The dancers were like... Never mind :\ Music sucked at the beginning, got better after 11? RnB :D Wanted to stay till closing or at least around 3 but my legs were aching and besides I told my mom I'd be back before 12. Lols. So yeah. For the best I guess. Since I'm so wide awake, I can do QT later! Am blogging cause I'm waiting doing some masque thing that I just bought :\ Hope it works!

And partly cause I have the sudden urgency to blog down some feelings. Don't ask me why. I don't understand it. I don't understand anything at all. Why in the world am I still thinking of him? While I was dancing, I had to fight hard to stop thinking and just dance +sighs+ And my goodness. I had like 4 people ask me today if I was over him! Isn't it written on my face or something? Bleah

On the other hand, I feel like God has been showing me signs. Insecure me! Been asking Him why I feel like He isn't answering me. Just these 2-3 days, He's been showing me signs and speaking to me in every way possible. Praise God :))

You might need time to think it over
But I'm just fine moving forward
I'll ease your mind
If you give me the chance
I will never make you cry, c'mon let's try

Val :x: Hey beautiful! I miss you toooo! I will try not to think. Shall think of you. Headaches would prolly disappear immediately. You take care aiights? And try not to worry too much over O's. You will get through it fine. After all, I survived it and so did many others! *loves Shall be dreaming of you

Yang :x: Yang ah. What in the world happened to your voice? You sound sooooo high pitched please. Goodness. DRINK WATER! -nags- Lols. Take care ok?? See you on tues if not earlier. +hugs

./Spinning :: To Make You Feel My Love - Josh Kelley


+..all cried out..+ . [2:52 AM ]
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